Aracniphobia

June 21, 2009

So I just had a run in with the godzilla of arachnids. Here I am just minding my own business catching up on episodes of heroes when I see something creep by my periphery. So I look up at that area of wall and I don’t see anything, I figure my mind is playing tricks on me. Then, about 30 seconds later something creeps by again. This time I get a good look at it and almost fill my pants with the stew I had for dinner. There on my wall, bigger than jesus is a huge fucking spider. I recall thinking how camel spiders aren’t native to the states and then sprung out of bed so fast you’d think I was wearing a jetpack. I flip on the lights and look at the wall where this abomination was perched and a chill runs down my spine. This is the single largest spider I have ever had the “joys” of feasting my eyes upon in person. I briskly leave the room in search of a weapon with which to bludgeon this epic demon with. I find a shoe and sneak back into the room, gazing upon the last known location of the spider I see nothing but blank wall. My skin turns cold and starts to crawl as I scan the surface of the floor near it’s last known vector, no sign of the fiend. Suddenly I see something move in my periphery again. Slowly tracking to the movement I see my arach-nemises about a foot to my side on the wall. I bring up my shoe and plunge it into the heart of the beast, feeling a visceral crunch. With the venomous fiend vanquished I then looked for something to clean off my shoe with. Looking at the shoe I notice no less that eight legs curled out from the side. Holy shit this beast was huge. Everything said and done I can now say that I know how Frodo & Gang felt when facing Shelob.

After consulting a friend in the pest control field it was determined that the 8 legged fiend was an Arizona Recluse, an epicly huge one at that. The largest they had seen was the size of a half dollar, this one was about 4-5″ wide.

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